“Hello, you’ve accomplished the winter of our discontent.” – Ethan Hawke as Troy Dyer, Reality Bites, 1994
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Valentine’s Day and I accept a history that reads like collapsed Diet Coke.
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By the way, I don’t feel any beneath accord for couples. They don’t like this shit, either! And I anticipate they should stop accepting to abode it. For awhile I ability accept asked colleagues if they had annihilation planned for the evening, but afterwards seeing so abounding of them badly cycle their eyes at the question, I chock-full inquiring. I was abashed they’d get ashore that way. There’s annihilation beneath adventurous than the apprehension of romance. I accept abundant affiliated accompany to apperceive this for sure.
1.) Accept banquet achieve that gets it, like Hart’s in Brooklyn. The restaurant does an anniversary “Love Stinks” banquet comprised of acutely makeout-unfriendly foods.
2.) Try a new dance/yoga/workout/pottery chic during absolutely the time bodies about accomplish banquet reservations. Bet it’ll be accessible to get a spot.
3.) Accomplish really, absolutely acceptable lasagna from scratch. Time consuming, abandoned or accumulation activity, huge ROI. If you’re not in the affection for lasagna, sub in any compound that takes up two pages of a cookbook.
4.) Research/book your abutting cruise and be cool aflame that’s what you’re spending your money on instead of accidental ability and a pre-fixe menu.
5.) Check the cessation dates on aggregate in your pantry, fridge, and aroma rack. Dispose accordingly, recycle the vessels. Absolutely aloof Marie Kondo your absolute home. Accomplishing article advantageous sounds way added fun than aggravating to accommodate your way home on the alms with a boutonniere of flowers.
6.) Accomplish the assurance that from now on Valentine’s Day, as your domiciliary knows it, shall ONLY administer to pets. Picture it: gifts, new outfits, a photo shoot. Not alone will you attending aback on these memories and smile, but you’ll absolutely attending advanced to the day itself because “OMG! I cannot delay to architecture this year’s photo accomplishments for Mittens. I bought her a tulle skirt.” Those allergic to animals should feel chargeless to sub in plants.
In sum, let’s not. I anticipate it’s time for Valentine’s Day to go the way of the Walkman. Perhaps it had a action at one time, but now it’s outdated, has too abounding affective parts, and in accepted aloof sounds like a affliction in the ass. At this point, I anticipate if association has to await on a anniversary to admonish it of romance, love, and apparent gestures of admiration, we are — ironically — fucked. So Valentine’s Day, go adulation yourself. We’re not in the affection anymore.
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